About this blog

My photo
I am a TV and video producer. I have upped sticks from London with my girlfriend Jess, and gone travelling through Asia. We are then moving to Sydney to live and work. This blog charts our thoughts and experiences. Oh, by the way, I am also a MASSIVE Arsenal fan. I gave up my season ticket for this trip, a big call I know. I have decided to meet Arsenal fans and fan clubs around Asia and Australasia and post about them. Jess loves that. Ha.

Saturday 17 September 2011

Fuc-KL it's hot!



Things we learned about Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (KL)
  • ·        It’s HOT. We thought Singapore was hot, and it was.  But KL is “sweat running down your crack 30 seconds after you leave the hotel” hot.  Something I think was linked to the next point. 
  • ·         It’s polluted.  It wasn’t cloudy at all, in fact it was a “clear” day, but the sun was a faint, dull orb in the sky through all the smog.
  • ·         Malaysians like to eat.  And so do we.  So we got on well.  Food stalls, food courts, food markets.  Just a lot of good food everywhere.

Arriving in KL was like actually arriving in Asia.  Where Singapore was shiny and clean, KL has that little edge to it.  It’s still a city of huge air conditioned malls and shiny skyscrapers, but in amongst all of that is a healthy dose of bedlam. The public transport is great (we loved the monorail), there are classy bars and restaurants and a huge number of expats and tourists but we found the heart of the city wandering through China Town and Little India.  As we stepped through the alleys and streets, the shiny skyscrapers and malls full of Starbucks seemed to be a world away from the bustling markets, saris and dingy food markets, rather than 2 stops on the LRT.


As fascinating and juxtaposed a city as KL is, in all honesty it’s hard to forget for too long about the oppressive heat and pollution.  The temperature, like everywhere in this part of the world, hovers around the 32-33 degrees mark (Celsius - it’s not freezing, Americans) but the intense humidity makes it feel more like 40, according to weather.com.  I assume it’s linked to the genuinely astonishing amount of smog sitting above the City.  The sky is permanently grey.  You can look directly at the sun with ease as its light barely fights its way through the pollution.   I did find out, however, that most of the smog is not actually due to KL pollution but instead caused by huge slash and burn fires in neighbouring Sumatra.  Sumatrans are illegally destroying and burning mind blowing amounts of rain forest.  At this time of year, every year, the vast amounts of smoke from that burning travels north east on the monsoon winds, obliterating the sun for millions of Malaysians, until those winds turn again in October.  We went to the viewing point of the KL Tower which is among the world’s tallest structures and took some pictures which show the thickness of the smog.


Somewhat bizarrely, along with our KL Tower ticket, we were given a free pass to what can only be described as a very, very small zoo.  Literally one fairly large room.  In it were a variety of snakes, spiders, lizards and monkeys, all in cramped little cages.  After looking genuinely scared holding a snake, Jess got a little bit emotional at the site of all the monkeys in their tiny cages.  Until she saw that you could buy food to feed them.  “Please Ciaran, please can I feed the monkeys?!”  I was not keen on the idea at all, and wanted no part of it but how could I possibly refuse such an eager request?  We bought a large bowl of fruit, and I stood back to observe, rather than take part.  Jess offered an excited looking monkey a piece of apple through the cage.  The monkey reached out, but his little arm went straight past the apple and instead grabbed her bracelet.  A bracelet held together by elastic. He wasn’t letting go and neither was Jess.  Jess looked at me with a look of fear and helplessness on her face, perhaps expecting me to do something to help.  “He’s going to have that.” I said.  Once the bracelet was stretched to 3 times its normal size, and the monkey keeper realised that I certainly wasn’t going to help, he stepped in and rescued the now rather overstretched bracelet.  I laughed, as did the crowd who had gathered behind us.  Jess turned to me with a very sad face, put the bowl of fruit in my hand and said, “I don’t like it”, leaving me to feed the monkeys on my own (something I had earlier specifically refused to do), until she plucked up more courage. Jess has now developed a healthy respect for monkeys.  We’re going to watch Rise of Planet of the Apes soon, as an educational session on what can happen when you fool around with monkeys.



Malaysia also provided us with our first experience of the squat toilet.  Anyone who has been to Asia knows what I’m talking about and for those who haven’t, it’s basically a toilet bowl in the ground.  No seat, just a foot pad on either side of the bowl allowing you to squat down and do what needs to be done.  While we didn’t actually have to use one in Malaysia (there is always a western toilet option as well), the squat toilets did have an interesting knock on effect for us.  Whenever going to use a public, western toilet, we discovered big dirty footprints on the seat.  Apparently some local folk opt to squat ON the toilet seat rather than sit on it. I suppose technically the Asian method IS more hygienic than ours but, I would argue, far less relaxing.  Come on now, are you really going to tackle the Times crossword while perching in a squat position atop the loo? Sometimes it’s not the destination, but the journey that counts.

 I would have placed a picture of said footprints here, but unfortunately I never found myself with a camera while in the loo.  And if I had, others may have legitimately wondered what on earth I was up to. So instead here is a photo of Jess looking cool.


On this rather crude subject, after working in Bangkok some years ago, my Dad told me that while out there, he daren’t fart due to the potentially dangerous repercussions of doing so.  It was sage advice.  I’m glad to report that I have had no such problems thus far.  I’ll keep you posted Dad.

I am a few posts behind at the moment due to patchy internet connection.  We’re in Bali now so there should be some more posts over the next few days about our time in Indonesia so far. ‘Til then suckas.

No comments:

Post a Comment